You really have been practicing your writing at home. I loved this piece of work, and can tell that you have taken your time and made sure that it is to a very high standard.

I liked the way you used alot of descriptive writing features. Like when you said ‘ the trees got a haircut’ and ‘listen to the rain singing’, that is a nice example of personification and metaphor. I liked the similie ‘I can sleep like a dead fish’ that really made me think that you must really love your warm bed.

It is so cold today – Saturday 5th July – that your piece of writing really made me feel extra wintery.

Keep it up Kevin and have a safe, warm holiday.

When it is winter, the trees got a hair cut and the leaves go parachuting down to the ground. The monkey- people (us) have a chance to climb to the top.

In this season, people seem to be fatter than normal because of the clothes they wear. The freeze can not be defended; it just goes through your nose and mouth, into your body in a second.

Some animals like brown bears and snakes have stolen and swallowed our sleeping-pills; they just sleep the whole winter. Our dog loves playing with balls, so maybe he is dreaming of being a furry ball when he’s sleeping in this winter?

During the weekends in the winter, I can sleep like a dead fish in my bed for a long time without waking up. Especially when the heaters go on, it makes me sleepy because it broke the magic cold spell winter put on me. During the school days I have to pull my eye lids open and get out of the room after the alarm rings for many times. I have no doubt at this time my cosy bed is the most comfortable place in the world.

It is hard to see a storm in the other seasons so it should be in the winter museum for other seasons to look at. When a storm is coming, I can hear thunder explode in the sky like someone putting out the rubbish bin on a really rocky concrete, heavy rain drops and hails like little white rocks hit the windows. I feel extreme safe and comfort to be at home at this moment, especially if I am freezing like a fridge, I will relax in a hot bath listen the rain singing.

I think winter in Auckland is cool; it will be better if we had snow and had a snow- fight or had an icy river and go ice-skating like in Canada, but you still can enjoy yourself by sitting on a small couch by the fire eating some snacks and watching T.V. or lying on a bed reading a book.

Having some positive energy into the hardest time of the year, you can still enjoy yourself.

Camille- I like how Camille described Bluebell the rabbits fur and how it was soft, silky and fragile.
Hugo- it hooked me in how in the start of his character description; Hugo explained what the autumn morning was like and how the leaves lay there on the ground. I also saw that he used a bit of onomatopoeia in it. (OOPS! And BANG!)
Anna- Can I have a guess who you were writing about in your 1st character description? Is it ‘Mr. Jones?’

Bye Anna

Bluebell’s soft, silky, fragile fur glistened in the morning dew as she hunted around poking her nose in every crack. She swiftly drew out some wet paper from under her pink, chewed water bowl reading it carefully her eyes dodging around every word looking for an answer. Her dainty, pink nose reached out again to the water bowl this time for a pen.

His fair hair blew in the wind, trying to get across the sand dunes. His beady blue eyes closing in the sandy air. Struggling to get to shelter, he stumbled over his pale shoelaces. He lay there; lifeless and no one in sight for miles. But if you looked closely, deep down inside, you would be able to see the faintest glimmer of life in him. His elf like ears twitched when he heard the soft crunch of the waves shattering. And his life was gone.

( This is my one with the changes )